We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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