It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
