So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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