I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
