I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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