She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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