i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
