and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
