I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Randomize
