I faked an abortion last night.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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