And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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