I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
