even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm passing your future prison.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
