you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
