With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize