I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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