he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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