you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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