so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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