It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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