I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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