Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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