I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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