p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
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I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
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you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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