Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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