VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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