I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Randomize
