my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
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