The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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