I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize