I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
