and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
