it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
