sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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