Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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