After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
