he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
