Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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