My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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