I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
