Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
