so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
