What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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