You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Please, let me fuck your mom
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
