Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
