Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
