Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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