So drunk, too bad you don't want this
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
