But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
