Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize