i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize