So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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