Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
