I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize