party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
