well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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