The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
4 words: hood of his car
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
