First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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