I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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